


Dear Charles,

by Kira_K



Series: Dear Charles [1]
Category: X-Men (Alternate Timeline Movies), X-Men - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Epistolary, M/M, One-Sided Attraction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-15
Updated: 2014-06-15
Packaged: 2018-02-04 18:06:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,252
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1788235
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kira_K/pseuds/Kira_K
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A series of <s>love</s>letters from Erik to Charles after the end of the second movie.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dear Charles,

Charles,

 

I never lied to you. Back when we first met It would have been foolish – after all you read my mind with the ease of reading the newspaper. And it simply became a habit, not-lying to you.

I write to you because I am bored and this way you cannot argue without reading/hearing what I have to say. I miss you, Charles. Please, take care until our paths cross again.

Erik

* * *

Charles,

 

I think I should start again. I am in the USA for the moment; if you wish to reply you can use this mailbox: 777. I will understand it if you ~~’d~~ rather not but I hope you will.

I know you know what I do but I think you don’t know why. Maybe if I can explain myself clearly – for once – your hatred will change into something else. I am sorry for what happened in Cuba. It was never my intention to hurt you or let you be hurt.

However, I won’t apologize for killing ~~Schultz~~ Shaw. He was an evil who had to die. And yes, I was the man to decide it. You must have seen in my mind that I had killed before; that I have hunted those who escaped Nünberg; those who „just followed orders”. I had been authorized by a country’s government, of course, but it was I who executed the executions. Killing Herr Doktor was different but not as you think. He had been my friend, my tormentor, my saviour, my mother’s killer, and it felt like killing G-d. I still have nightmares about him. I suspect I always will. I regret that you were connected to his mind when I did what I had to but I won’t regret killing him.

Please, try to understand.

Erik

* * *

Charles,

 

You did not yet write to me.

You called me friend. You called me brother. ~~(I want to call you lover.)~~ Are we really friends? Do friends hurt each other as we did? Do brothers?

I never had either, not really. All my life I had to survive because I was different from those who were in power. Friends were a luxury. ~~Mystique~~ Raven spoke to me sometimes about being your sister; she spoke with remembered frustration but fondly. However, all I can think about is the way you let me rot in prison for a crime I did not commit because I rejected your peace!

* * *

Charles,

 

I apologize for not calling you „Dear” at the beginning of my letters but right now I cannot call you dear. I am still angry. You thought I was guilty. Without asking me! When I never lied to you! I want to forgive you but it’s kind of hard without getting an answer.

Of course, you were not the only one who left me there. Israel did not hurry to free me either. You’d think that a nation who survived an attempted genocide would care about its members a tiny bit more; especially for a member of their Agency. Yet, they let me rot as if I had been on the other side of the fences.

I hope your dreams are peaceful, Charles for mine are never.

 

Erik

* * *

Charles,

 

I won’t be around for a couple of months. Take care, don’t worry.

* * *

_Erik,_

_Are you still alive?_

_C._

* * *

 Charles,

 

Yes, of course I am alive. (You could have put on Cerebro and _looked_ for me if you were this worried.) I had been in Europe these last months. I went to h- Germany. I cannot call it home; not after what it did to me. However, this divided, defeated, depressed Deutschland is almost more than one could bear. The people – everybody there – lost something in the war. A sibling, a parent, a child, a house, a land, or their pride. Something had been lost. And the orphans – Jewish and German akin – are the worst. I know one should not punish the children for their fathers’ sins but I am not strong enough to be merciful. I had to leave before I hurt somebody innocent.

Eastern Europe is a lost case – labour camps are not so different whether the guards speak German or Russian. If I ever go there I will die.

I went to French where they hate me for being German; I went to Italy where they hate me for being a Jew. I went north but it was cold and dark and I had more than enough of these than I ever wanted. Then I crossed the Channel and went to England. And I heard your voice in every street and your accent in every pub (and they still hated my German accent) and I had to come back to USA. Because being reminded of your voice at every corner was worse than being in the same country and not meeting.

And I am here now; and I remember why I hate America as well. They claim to be the land of the brave, the country of freedom. And yet; wherever I look I can see imprisoned, hated people whose only sin was to be different ~~. If your country thinks having sex with one’s own gender is punishable by incarceration then what is the punishment for being a mutant?~~

Don’t tell me you cannot see where this leads.

 

Your Erik,

* * *

Dear Charles,

 

It has been a while.

I remembered you never had to face opposition before me. You just waved your hand and people obeyed your every thought. It must be nice not to be afraid of people discovering your secrets when you can just wipe their minds clean.

And you could have done it with me as well if not for the cursed helmet – it is itchy and uncomfortable and I need it reverse engineered but it is hard to do so without field testing...

But I digress. I think we shan’t ever see the same when faced with an armed policeman. You will see protection while I only see oppression. When I shouted to the sky what I was I did it to empower our kind. I did it because those in power need to recognize us, need to be prepared to make allowances and without radicalism they won’t. I am radical, I am the villain so the rest of the mutants can act as the good guy and the government can make new laws.

I recognize this; I acknowledge my role and I am willing to play it. Please get over yourself and play your own role, Charles. You missed another conference that could have been useful.

I still miss you. I miss our conversations, the chess game we were both terrible at, the wine and the companionship. But I always knew that I cannot have everything. I am content with my lot though my people (to call them employees would be demeaning, to call them acolytes would be blasphemous...) think I am too harsh on them. I could tell you some stories; see if you would make the same choices when I wish to protect both their lives and our case. Though for that you should write back, old friend, and not burn all my mail unread.

 

Your Erik, 

* * *

 Dear Charles,

 

I recognise futility after a while and I have better things to do than to pine after you. I think my letters shall cease until after I have again the time for such foolishness. Don’t worry but your “X-men” should be ready to face the heat.

 

Good luck,

Erik

 


End file.
